LIES AND WHY'S

  He says to me fully knowing it could not be further from the truth. He looks at me so convinced that I believe him. I don't I just hate to argue so I say it back. Today is actually a really good day we had sex then cooked breakfast together and he was even nice to my daughter which is rare even though she is only 7 they seldom get along. Today it is easy to repeat his lie back to him. Later we lay around on the couch cuddling and then a dog walk without any complaints wow it must be my birthday .... No if it were then he would be packing to move out. He must have forgotten he hates me for today so I forget as well and barely even waste a minute trying to figure out why he even hates me at all. I am certain he does I just have no idea why. I am very supportive , spoil to a fault , barely bitch after finding out he still goes on dating sites and contacts other females. He only denies this anyway so really no good to bitch. I still feel like none of those facts hold the real reason he hates me. Oh well like I said today I put that out of my head. We have sex again before bed but something seems off afterwards I roll over and pretend to sleep while letting myself now obsess as to why he does actually hate me. I barely notice him get out of bed. I am about to get up and investigate when he brings me back some juice from the kitchen , I am fake sleeping so I refuse it. This seems to annoy him for some reason and now I am reeling with crazy thoughts as to why. I don't have long to get lost in my head because I notice him going to my daughters room and giving her juice now this is very odd because any other night he would deny her juice saying she will wet the bet. Which she has all of a sudden started back doing even though she has been potty trained since 2 and is now 7. He comes back into the room and I am still fake sleeping he checks on me to see if I am faking or not but seems to think I am sleeping so he lays down and appears to be waiting for something he has his hands folded across his chest and his eyes are wide open. How freaking odd I think to myself wtf is he up 2? I decide no matter what I have to stay awake as well and find out. I must have dosed off but luckily not into a deep sleep because I am woken up by his light attempts at waking me. I stay fake sleeping after a few minutes he sits up in bed looks over at me one last time and then creeps out of bed. My heart is pounding and I almost yell at him to get back in bed but stop myself. Thank god I did because what happens next nearly rips my heart straight out of my chest. I quietly get my phone and open our security app I open the hall camera just in time to see him enter my daughters room. I quickly switch to the camera in her room and I cannot even get my eyes to process what I am seeing. I see him getting undressed and start touching himself then I see him go over to the top bunk where she is sleeping. I nearly drop my phone I run out of bed to her room so quick. Startled he try's to hide what he was doing but it's to late I have seen it all. I start yelling at him and he gets loud with me and tells me I am crazy and seeing things after only minutes of this I realize it's useless to argue and go back into my room to grab my phone. He clearly thinks he has me believing his bullshit because he walks back in scolding me for being so crazy. Yes police I say as the 911 operator answers the call, I then tell them my address and that I just found my boyfriend molesting my 7 year old daughter. His eyes get wide and he starts to scramble he does not know if he should just run or if he has time to do more damage. He decides he has time he comes over to me and starts choking me really hard I feel myself pee my pants then black. I wake up to him in handcuffs looking at me like I ruined his life as paramedics are doing CPR on me. I barely notice my poor innocent daughter crying in the corner so confused. Now I know why he hated me I stood between him and my child. What a sick bastard. 

The begining of the bad boyfriends

I got married so I could go to school and boy was that a bad idea. I married a white guy thinking that I would have less trouble with a white guy. Boy was I wrong! He had a huge nose and scruffy blond hair. He dressed like a wigger ( white guy that dresses black ) so I thought he would probably not be racist and in Tennessee everyone is racist. I was wrong again. The first thing his grandpa said to me when I met him was a story about a black guy taking to much time at the bank and he was calling him out of his name. I should have known I was in for some trouble. Once we got married he stopped liking rap and started liking angry white people music. He started making racist comments therefore making me leave him on the side of the road. He worked third shift and would come home hours late claiming he fell asleep in the parking lot. After he went crazy one night and threw our uneaten food out of the car window I questioned him about it and he attacked me. I fought back and booted his racist ass out the car. I had finally had enough once and for all! It was time for me to start dating black guys.

Do I even want a real man?

Have you ever wrote a cute guys name down so you could look him up later on myspace or facebook? Am I the only one that has ever done that? What do I really think will happen from that anyway? Why do I torture myself by chosing the most inapropriate men and passing up the nice guys with good jobs and no kids? Is it self sabotage or just plain stupidity? I have picked men that could not be monogomous if their life depended on it. I am an attractive female who always told herself not to settle now I would settle for the next man with a job. Hell it dosen't even have to be a good one. I already know asking for a man that does not cheat would be like expecting a miracle so right about now I will settle for a guy smart enough to keep it a secret. LOL. Maybe not.

No underwear, Yes penis?

I have the worst luck in life, men, and jobs. I went to a friends house to watch a movie 2012 kinda good but just way to unreal. I fell asleep in my friends bed to wake up to him shoving his penis in my face. He was upset that I was not going to have sex with him and he was saying if I did not want sex then why did I have my underwear off? Wow what a jerk. How did he even know they were off? I was not wearing any to begin with. That is my choice. Every since I could remember my taste in men has been horrible. I use to want to marry Webster or Michael Jackson! Yuck I know. Well as I got older the creeps just got even more creepy. I will learn my lesson or die alone. LOL. One or the other. I am even open for some awesome dating advice or a sexy set up. LOL

It's settled! No more thugs.

If I was not certain before I am now! No more bad boys for me. The other day I was sitting on my couch minding my own business when the Swat busted in my door and hand cuffed me. I had no clue what was going on. All I could think was what stupid loser was I dating that the Swat would actually be interested in? Fuck I wish I knew because I just may have told them. I have made stupid choices my whole life and now I am appraching thirty with no man. Sure I could get a man I could get alot; but they are all crazy, obsessive, lying, cheating, losers! I am pretty sure good men dont even exsist. I cant even tell you how many married men hit on me every day. I have dated guys who have broke into my house and robbed me, I have dated guys who were obsessed with craigslist whores, and yes I have dated dope boys; but no more! No more thugs, no more guys with dreds and gold theeth no matter how sexy they are. Hell maybe even no more guys with big dicks. I have noticed they tend to be players. Shit maybe even no more black guys. They say once you go black you never go back, but what do they know anyway? I never got my door kicked in while I was dating white guys.